Anyway, there are quite a few families at our little church that have adopted or are in the process of adopting. I won't get too far off topic, but our church is really small...like 1000 members. And I personally know five families that have or will be adopting because they are not able to have children of their own. That's a BIG number of families dealing with infertility issues. And most of them are younger than me and Matt. So it makes me wonder what's going on in our environment to make these couples have these difficulties.
But I digress. Back to the story.
One particular family, Dave and Bethany, were in the process of adopting a sweet baby boy. They openly shared their story of how they came to adoption and the entire process leading up to going to get him from the hospital when he was born. Read their story thoughtfully and prayerfully (and grab some tissues while you're at it). Their trust and faith in God is amazing. God is good and he always answers!
Part One
We wanted to share the story of what occurred at the hospital this past weekend, but please understand that our point in writing this is for you to better understand our hearts & know how to best pray for us and this baby boy. We know that our Heavenly Father, who loves this baby far more than even we do, has always held him in His care even before, during and after He graciously allowed us to hold him for a while. We named him Isaac David, and though we don't know if he has been renamed or not, God knows whom you are praying for when you lift this baby boy up to God. We also want you to know that this is not the whole story. Even while everything was unraveling at the hospital, we felt a strong sense that God is not finished with our journey yet. To be sure, the first part is heartwrenching...but we are believing God to finish this story in a mighty way.
Our birthmom called a little before 6:00 on Friday morning to say that she was headed to the hospital. I (Bethany) refused to let myself be disappointed that it might not be true labor, so I headed over to the consignment sale that I had planned on working at that morning. Around 7:45, our birthfather called to say that she had been admitted & was already at a 6! After lots of quick hugs & tears with my friends at the sale, I quickly drove home & began packing up the rest of our bags. Dave remembers me frantically calling multiple times on his way home- even once just to say, "Are you sure we remembered everything?... wait, I need to FLOSS!" before hanging up on him without him even getting a word in!
Dave made it home from his jobsite in Jacksboro around 9:45. We prayed for our birthparents and a safe delivery before pulling out of the driveway, and then we began a very quick trip down 35 to Temple! Our drive down was filled with lots of phone calls, and I also tried reading aloud to Dave from one of our books about caring for newborns. ;)
We made it to the hospital right before 1:00 in the afternoon, and our birthfather couldn't have been better about keeping us up to date with the progress of the delivery. After 4 quick pushes, the baby was born at 1:28 on Friday afternoon!
We were able to meet him about an hour after he was born, and there really are no words to describe that moment. He was beyond beautiful--7 lbs., 8 oz. and 18 inches long. The first thing we both noticed about him was his beautiful blond hair! We were able to spend quite awhile with our birthparents & the baby before they moved him to the NICU and our birthmother checked herself out of the hospital and headed home. The hospital's census was very high, so they didn't have a room to give us in the hospital; and, since this hospital doesn't have a well baby nursery, they put the baby in the NICU nursery. It actually worked out wonderfully, because we were able to spend as much time as we wanted with him in the NICU...and, the NICU nurses were absolutely fabulous and gave him a lot of extra attention! (When some of our friends & family heard that the baby was staying in the NICU, they were worried about his health...but he was only in there because it is the only nursery at this hospital.) Due to the swine flu, each baby is only allowed to have the same 2 people visitors while in the hospital. My (Bethany) parents had driven down on Friday evening, and since they weren't able to meet the baby in the hospital, they spent all their time in Temple bringing meals to us in the waiting room whenever we left the NICU. Late on Friday evening, Dave used his best persuasion skills to convince the nurses to let him step out into the hallway outside the NICU and hold the baby, and my parents peeked in through a window at the end of that hallway to see him.
We spent the rest of the day on Friday, all day Saturday, and most of Sunday loving on this beautiful baby boy. The love we felt for him was more intense than either of us could have imagined, & there were many, many tears of joy & thankfulness shed over him during those 48 hours. We briefly talked with our birthmom a few times over the waiting period and, each time, she still sounded confident in her decision to place the baby with us.
We met with 2 representatives from our Texas adoption agency at 11:30 on Sunday morning to sign all our paperwork. They were then headed to meet our birthparents at a nearby restaurant at 12:30 to review all their paperwork in order for our birthmother to sign her relinquishment at 1:30 p.m. At 12:25 p.m., I talked with our birthmother briefly on the phone, and she said that she couldn't talk for long because they were headed to the restaurant. The agency represntatives had promised us that they would call or text us as soon as the relinquishment was signed. At 1:45, I was starting to get nervous that they hadn't called yet, but I wasn't too upset, since throughout our entire placement, our birthmother has made continual comments about how she would never back out. We were also confident that she would sign (as were our adoption agents) since she spent so little time at the hospital and had gone home on Friday evening without even visiting the baby before she left.
At 1:50, Dave's phone started to ring, so he quickly left the NICU and stood in the hallway to take the call. I was holding the baby & watching through the window into the hallway when I saw his face go white. I quickly put the baby down in his bassinet & ran into the hallway, where Dave told me that it was the adoption agency on the phone saying that the birthparents had never showed up at the restaurant and had instead gone to Wal-Mart to buy a carseat for the baby. At the same time, the charge nurse walked up & said that a hospital social worker was on the way. We asked her why, & she said that the birthmother had just called & said that she was coming to get the baby. At that moment, our world was turned upside down. I remember falling on the ground and sobbing out to God...Dave was still on the phone with the adoption agency...and the baby's nurse ran out into the hallway and was suddently on the floor with me. She was holding me as I sobbed and told me that she was an adoptive mother too.
The represntatives from our Texas agency quickly came back to the hospital. With tear-stained faces, they told us that they were just as shell-shocked as we were. The four of us spent the next 2 hours in a conference room making tons of phone calls. Adoption Network, the group in California who matched us with our birthmom in May, was furiously trying to get ahold of our birthmom, too. Throughout the next few hours, our adoption agents found out that it was actually our birthfather who felt he couldn't give up the baby; and, because of that, our birthmom was refusing to sign. No words can adequately describe the overwhelming emotions that we felt at that time. We called our parents and a few friends intermittently, and we know that there were hundreds of people calling out to God on our behalf during that time.
Around 5:00, our agents heard from our birthmom one last time, and she said that she and the baby's father were coming to get the baby that evening. We spent one final hour crying & praying over the baby before we left the hospital. We have never been asked to do anything harder than to walk away from that perfectly beautiful baby that we had grown to love so quickly in 2 days.
We sat in the hospital parking lot for awhile & called our parents, who were all weeping right along with us. During those terrible hours of waiting to find out what was going to happen, God reminded Dave of the story of Abraham & Isaac. As Abraham was walking up the mountain to sacrifice, Isaac asked, "Where is the lamb for the burnt offering?" Abraham replied, "God Himself will provide." Another of our dear friends put it this way: That even while Abraham and Isaac were walking up one side of the mountain, God's provision (the ram) was walking up the other side. We believe God Himself will provide for us.
We don't know if He's going to provide us with this baby by allowing our birthparents to change their minds again...we don't know if He will provide another baby for us...or maybe God's provision will come in a way that we can't even imagine at this point.
We know that many of you are hurting and crying right along with us. Specifically, we would love for you to pray for these things....
~Continuing our prayer since placement that he grows to have a heart after God's own
~Thanking God for answering our prayers for a healthy baby boy
~For safety, protection, and blessing over this baby's life as he grows
~For graciousness and forgiveness toward our birthparents
~That God would strengthen our marriage through this trial
~That Satan's lies would have no foothold in our lives or our home
~That God would answer our prayer to have children in our home in His time and for our patience through that process
We love you all and are EVER grateful for your prayers and support through this difficult time for us.
David & Bethany
By God's unfailing love, To Be Continued...
Part Two
We just want to take a quick minute and give everyone a brief update. Many of you know that our birthmom texted me (Bethany) very early yesterday morning with a message that said, "I'm sorry we thought we could take care of him. Is there any way you would still want him?" Of course, we immediately texted back to let her know that OF COURSE we would take Isaac back.
We spent the rest of the day waiting around to hear if they had made an official decision to place him with us. All of our adoption agents have been beyond wonderful working on our behalf. They have been in touch with our birthparents several times since yesterday morning, and at this point they have found out that our birthparents still want more time to think about everything. Our birthparents have told the ladies at the adoption agency that they know Isaac would be better off being raised in our home, but by now they have also had several days to bond with him and are growing to love him.
We believe that God is able to work a miracle and bring Isaac into our family forever...but as much as it hurts, we also know that God might not choose to work that way. We are so grateful for all of your love and prayers...and while we would ALL love for this part of our story to have an incredible homecoming, we are also being realistic and recognizing, along with our adoption agents, that most likely our birthparents are not going to choose to place him for adoption at this point.
We are still asking you all to pray for Isaac's safety...for blessing on his life...for God to give us the strength to move on from this tragendy...and for incredible peace for us as we walk this very rough road. We love you all.
Part Three
This evening we talked to one of the ladies at our Texas adoption agency. She had just received a text from our birthfather saying that he & our birthmom had made a final decision to keep the baby. Even though this is heartwrenching for us to hear (again), there is relief in having a completely closed door. It has been very hard to have this whole situation hang in the balance, as it has been since last Thursday.
Last spring, we decided to adopt because God showed us that we were to grow our family through adoption. Even though this entire experience has been (and continues to be) very difficult, we still desire to adopt a baby into our family. We know that we will never be able to replace the love we had for this baby, and we know that our next baby will be a completely new child to love.
Our profile, which prospective birthmoms are able to view, will go live online tomorrow morning. Of course, there is no guarantee as to when we will be picked...but we find comfort in knowing that God already knows when we will receive a call about another baby.
We are still asking you to pray for blessing on the lives of Isaac & our birthparents and for continued peace & healing in our lives.
Part Four
The best call we've ever gotten...our birthparents changed their minds again, the papers are signed, and we are just a few miles away from bringing our Isaac home forever! Update and photos coming late tonight.
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